In Pursuit Of Success

Any of you that follow me on Facebook or Instagram will know that I’m a big fan of inspirational quotes. Some people love them and some people hate them but I am firmly in the love them camp. Sometimes we all need a bit of motivation and a few simple words can sometimes encourage you to think about your life or your present situation. I once read somewhere that success in life such is 10% skill and 90% mindset. I think there is a lot of truth in that. I personally know some incredibly successful people – self made millionaires and people that have built up a successful business empire from scratch. Not all of them work in the same industry, not all of them do the same things but they all share one thing in common – a positive, focused, motivated mindset. Even when they first started their journeys, they all believed in themselves and had visions of their future success. It’s not arrogance, it’s confidence and self belief. These people inspire and attract others who want to emulate their success. 

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Try and spend your time with people who lift you higher. There are too many people in life who will try and bring you down. 

Being self employed and starting your own business is hard. I know because I’m currently doing it. It involves early mornings and late nights, seven days a week. You have to make personal sacrifices so that you can invest time and money into your business. In the beginning, the financial rewards are small compared with the amount of work that you are putting in. It would be so easy just to give up but unfortunately, that is what the road on the way looks like. The difference between people that are successful and the ones who are not is that the successful ones don’t give up. You have to remind yourself why you are doing it. Whether you want to earn lots of money for expensive things, financial freedom, to travel or whether like me, you want time freedom. The freedom to use your time the way you want, to take days off and holidays when you want, to spend your weekends with your loved ones, to spend Christmas at home with your family – that is why I am building my business. Remind yourself of your ‘why’ motivation every single day. If you have visions of living in a beautiful home, owning an expensive car, being your own boss, travelling the world… Don’t call it a dream, think of it as a plan. If you want nice things and the freedom to do what you want, you can pin your hopes on a lottery win (it won’t happen), or instead you can try and build your own success. 

Some people have an incredibly negative mindset. We all have bad days. And it’s ok. That’s life. It throws challenges, hurt, obstacles, sadness, tragedy… Downright horrible things at us that we have to deal with. But some people just go through life under a permanently dark cloud, constantly pessimistic, moaning, feeling sorry for themselves and dwelling on everything that has gone wrong and waiting for the next thing that will go wrong. It’s almost as if they set themselves up for failure after failure. I believe that positive people attract positive things and that your life situation will be as good as your attitude towards it. If you have the right mindset, you will attract people to you who will lift you up rather than bring you down.

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Spending time with negative, moaning people is one of life’s miseries. Don’t let them drag you down to their level. 

 

I love the quote ‘Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning how to dance in the rain’. It’s been shared so many times on social media now that people ignore it but it’s so true. A negative mind will never give you a positive life and you just have to learn how to deal with the rubbish life throws at you sometimes. In the past few years, I’ve had to deal with a lot of sadness, hurt and grief but I’m sure as hell not gonna let that defeat me. There are people no longer with me that I wish were, there are things people have done to me that I really wish they hadn’t but I can’t change any of them. All I can do is look forward, smile and keep living my life, doing the things that make me happy with people that make me happy. I don’t think about what’s wrong, I’m thankful for what’s right. When something bad happens in your life, you have a choice. You can let it define you, let it destroy you or the one which I’ve chosen – let it strengthen you. If you can build a firm foundation with the bricks that have been thrown at you in life then you’re onto a winner. 

Think of a negative attitude like a flat tyre – you won’t go anywhere until you change it 🙂 

Until next time, stay beautiful (and positive) x

Coping With The Death Of A Loved One

Death is often seen as a taboo subject. Something which many of us are reluctant to talk about. But it’s a sad fact of life. We live and then we die. But how do we cope after the death of someone we love? Today, I will share my story with you about coming to terms with the death of someone I loved dearly – my dad.

Five years ago today, my dad passed away after suffering a cardiac arrest at home. He was 56, I was 24. As anyone who has ever experienced the death of a loved one, particularly an immediate family member will know, you don’t ‘get over it’ but time does make it easier to deal with. You get used to no longer having that person around anymore. I have lost people close to me before and those deaths were ‘expected’. Personally, I found them slightly easier to deal with. Not that an expected death is any less upsetting but you do have some time to mentally prepare yourself for when the time comes and to ‘say goodbye’. Even if you don’t say it out loud, inside you know that each time you leave them if could be the last. In a way, you had already begun to grieve so when the time of passing comes, it doesn’t come as a shock.

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Dad 1954 – 2011

With a sudden death like dad’s though, you don’t get that time to prepare yourself for when the time comes. I will never forget the moment I found out about dad’s death. I literally collapsed from shock. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact I would never see him again or hear his voice. As well as sadness, I felt angry that he had been robbed of his life at a relatively young age. How he would never see myself or my brother get married, never see his grandchildren and they would never meet their grandad. Bereavement is an experience that leads to all kinds of emotions and thoughts. Most of which aren’t pleasant.

My advice to anyone coping with the death of a loved one would be firstly, do not hide your feelings. Talk about how you feel. If you are not comfortable talking with family and friends, talk to your doctor or talk to a bereavement charity such as Cruse. Have a good cry, don’t bottle things up and try and ‘stay strong’. You are grieving, you don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed about getting upset and appearing like you are feeling ok if you’re not. Don’t neglect yourself, eat properly and rest. Take care of yourself and talk to your doctor if you have a health concern. And never turn to drugs, alcohol or smoke to excess. After my dad died, I dreamt about him and he said in the dream, ‘do not try and come here’ and I knew what that meant – your loved one’s life may be over but yours isn’t. And they wouldn’t want it to be so don’t do anything self destructive. Don’t make any big decisions while you are still grieving such as business or financial. You still need time to adjust to what has happened and time to think. I returned to work after my dad’s funeral and I found that to be very beneficial. I wasn’t pressured into returning to work so soon but having other things to think about and to do and the support of my colleagues helped with the grieving process.

Above all, remember that you will get through it and come out of it as a stronger person. It’s a cliche but it’s true. Losing a loved one is one of the most stressful experiences that we will go through in life. Take each day one at a time. You will experience a rollercoaster of emotions and you just have to let each one pass. Bereavement is a difficult journey and there will be days where you will hit rock bottom and wonder whether you will ever feel ok again. But it’s a journey that you will complete and yes, you will be ok. I am speaking from experience and I promise you, it will get easier. You will never forget them and there will be times when you will still get upset but you will adjust to life without them. When you think of your loved one, one day you will smile more than you cry.

My thoughts are with anyone who is experiencing or has experienced the death of someone they loved. Please feel free to share this with anyone who you feel that it may help.